Buy Government Bonds

Barry "Government" Bonds says he still wants to play next season. And who can blame him? If I had hit .276/.480/.565 last year as a 42-year-old, I'd trot out for another go-round as well. The problem, of course, is no one knows whether his legal trouble will prevent him from playing. Teams right now are expressing no interest in touching the most toxic public relations property in all of sports, and it's a good bet that Bonds' career is over. But why doesn't some team take a shot, and give Bonds a non-roster invite to spring training, or a very small guaranteed contract heaped with incentives, or something to that extent--a deal that would carry virtually no risk (from a playing standpoint) and hold the possibility of being the greatest bargain in the history of free agency? Of course, the public backlash would be enormous, a never-before-seen wailing and gnashing of teeth from the forth estate, as well as the baseball establishment itself--Joe Sheehan of Baseball Prospectus has surmised that if a team was brave enough to approach the human lightning rod about playing next season, it would likely get a dressing down from Mr. Selig and Co.

If a team can ride out the national storm, however--or just simply tell everyone else to shove it--signing Bonds is obviously a move that makes every bit of sense from a pure performance perspective. Sheehan also speculated that the A's are probably the one team willing to give him a shot. Can you imagine a lineup that featured both Bonds and Jack Cust? Bonds is the undisputed first citizen of The Three Run Homer philosophy of patience and power, and Cust is a personal favorite, as he mashed in the minors for many years before anybody gave him a real honest shot (that came last year, when he put up a .912 OPS). That batting order combination would be enough to make my brain explode in sabermetric glee.

Bonds, with his balky knees and immobility in the field, is obviously a better fit for an American League team like the A's that can DH him. But what about a dark horse candidate, such as the Nationals? Jim Bowden is the kind of GM who takes risks, as can be seen by his acquisitions of both Lastings Milledge and Elijah Dukes within the space of a week. Here's a wild scenario--the Nationals trade right fielder Austin Kearns for a starting pitcher, then sign Bonds to play left field and mentor the young African American troubled outfielders the Nationals just traded for. Bonds could play 100 or so games in left, letting Milledge, Dukes, and Wily Mo Pena alternately fill in when Bonds is sitting. That would be perhaps the most remarkable, dynamic, controversial four-outfielder rotation in the history of baseball.

If Bonds manages to avoid having his legal troubles eat into his ability to play major league baseball, then such a move by Bowden would instantly make the Nationals the biggest story in the game heading into 2008. It would put a tremendous charge into the city and guarantee huge draws every night at the new park on the banks of the Anacostia River. It would also potentially galvanize D.C.'s large African American population, supporting a demographic that is sadly fading away from the National Pastime.

Chew on that crazy scenario, and while you're digesting, vote in the poll to the right.